- one liners - Wednesday, February 22, 2006 *A friend in need is a pest indeed.* *Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.* *Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.* *When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane. *The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.* *Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.* *Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.* *Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.* *If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.* *It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.* *I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.* *A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.* *The hardest part of skating is the ice.* *My phone number is 17. We got one of the early ones.* *The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.* *In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?* *If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?* *To Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!* *If you can't convince them, confuse them.* *It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.* *I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.* *Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.* *The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.* *Someday is not a day of the week.*

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